Subject: TO: God FROM: The Dog

DON'T MISS THE PUNCH LINE AT THE END!!
Even if you don't have a dog, you gotta love this one.

TO: GOD:
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before
they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the
way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing
our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the
coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of
my fur before entering the house -
not after.
10. I will not come in from outside
and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the
living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so
when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?